2 months home!

Jay has been home for 2 months today. And, he's adjusting quicker than I ever imagined. He's a happy, loving, and active little guy! His favorite things are riding bikes...

... playing with Audrey and Sam...

... playing with friends...

... and he LOVES preschool!

When I picked him up after his first day at preschool, his teacher said that he just cried a little bit one time and was easily distracted with toys and had a great day. Jay got in the car and immediately told on himself. He said "Ma, I cried BIG!" and then he imitated a major meltdown and started to laugh and said "I was a baby!!!" and laughed and laughed at himself. I'm not sure if the teacher was trying to downplay the meltdown or if Jay was exaggerating his reaction at school. But, I was nervous about taking him the next day. The morning of the 2nd day of preschool, he ran into the room, hugged his teacher, started playing and yelled "Bye, Ma!" and waved goodbye to me. Both his teacher and Jay agree there was no crying the second day :)

Jay is learning language so quickly. It seems that he understands everything that people say to him in English. He has tons of English words and has stopped all Chinese words. He does lots of babbling, which is really interesting. Our pediatrician told us this is normal when young kids are changing primary languages - he's gone from speaking Mandarin, to babbling and saying some English words, adn then should start speaking entirely in English.

It's been a great 2 months off with Audrey, Sam, and Jay. I go back to work next week, Jay's started preschool this week, and Audrey and Sam start school in a few weeks. Sam's football practices and soccer practices and Audrey's soccer practices have started. Real life is starting. Jay has done a great job adjusting to waking up for school and hanging out at his siblings' practices. But he says he wants to play too - so he's signed up to start soccer in a few weeks. More cute pictures to come, I'm sure!

Thanks to an amazing orphanage that provided love and food to Jay for the first 4 years of his life and prepared him well for the transition, to Hope Station for providing love, are, and helping in his transition into our family, to Audrey and Sam who have been amazingly patient and loving siblings, to our village who has provided unbelievable support and encouragement, and to Jay's strong little spirit that was willing to be courageous and vulnerable, this has been a very easy transition and it feels like Jay has always been in our family.

2 Weeks Home

I can't believe we've only been home 2 weeks. It feels like Jay has been a part of our family forever. The first week home was really hard for Jay - lots of meltdowns (I'm talking 3 hour long meltdowns with biting, hitting, kicking and screaming). But the past week has been amazing. We've been communicating really well - Jay seems to understand most things I say and if he doesn't, he'll hand me my phone and repeat the word he doesn't know. That's his way of asking me to type it into Google Translate! He has just started speaking English and each day he has tons more words. So far he says:

More
Milk
Water
Potty
Please
Thank you
I love you
Night night
Swim
Chicken
Eat
No
Dog
Let's go
Peanuts
Pepperoni
Watermelon
Apple
Popsicle
One, Two, Three
Circle
Red
Green
Phone
That one
OK
Uh-oh
All done
I'm gonna get you
Tickle
Hold me

That is WAY more than the 0 Chinese words I learned in my two weeks in his country! When he wants something not on the list, he says it in Chinese and acts it out. He's really trying to help us out! I think the most amazing thing with his language happened last night when he yelled out in the middle of the night (first time ever, he usually sleeps 10 hours straight) - so I ran into his room and he was fast asleep with a huge smile and yelling "Let's go, mommy!" I'll take dreaming in English as a really good sign!

Jay is such a happy little guy. He is up for anything and jumps right in... Whether it's exercising...

... doing chores...

... climbing rocks...

... or jumping on trampolines (one of his favorites!)...

... he's up for it!

We've been working on colors, shapes, and numbers. Trying to get ready for preschool... Jay is signed up to start preschool ... Half days for the week of August 1 and then starting full time August 8 when I go back to work!

The best thing is watching Audrey, Sam and Jay play. They've had a few sibling moments (especially Sam and Jay ... Jay is attached to Sam's hip and wants "Gu Gu" to do everything with him and Sam loses patience sometimes... just like me!) but overall they have been getting along really well and it's so sweet to see them all together.

All things considered, he has transitioned really easily and attached quickly to us all. Such a sweet boy!

Home Sweet Home...Kind of...

The last day in China went well. We swam and hung around the hotel, and ate one last meal at our favorite noodle shop. Then got all packed up and headed to the airport. Jay is so tiny, I forget that he's old enough to understand what's going on. As we waited for our ride to the airport, he became really thoughtful and sad. It made me realize what a HUGE change in coming to his life. While we all were counting down the days to get home, flying home means leaving everything he knows - his friends, his food, his language,... I don't know how much of this he understood, but he was definitely a somber little guy on the way to the airport. 

The flights went way better than I expected. Our flight from Guangzhou to LA was delayed an hour so we were waiting in the airport until about 10pm and then boarded and Jay went right to sleep (well, he insisted on stripping down to his undies and sleeping like that, luckily he let me snuggle him up in a blanket!). He slept for 10 hours straight on that first flight! He woke up, got dressed, ate some breakfast, and watched movies for the last 3 hours. Since our first flight was delayed, we had to run (literally run) to get our bags, go through customs (and complete the last steps to make Jay an AMERICAN CITIZEN!!), recheck our bags, and then the last step was that I had to go to a Special Services desk to get Jay's boarding pass printed -- We all had ours ahead of time, but they couldn't print his until we were through customs with him. When I got to the desk, the man told me it was too close to departure time and we couldn't check him in - we'd missed the flight! As I teared up (seriously, we'd be traveling 18 hours by now!) he said, "Wait! It just printed!" He said he'd never seen the system allow him to print a boarding pass with just a few minutes to take off before but he said, "I'm not gonna question it, just RUN!" So we all ran up to security, met a really nice China Southern flight attendant who pushed us up to the front of security, they pushed us right through. Then they said we could only cut in front of people if they said it was OK, so we begged each person to let us cut. We got up to about 3rd in line before the NOs started. We made it through security and literally ran full speed to the gate. As we run up, they were calling last call for "Bakers! Beekmans!" We made it!! Jumped on the plane, sweaty and adrenaline filled and Jay went right back to sleep for 3 of the 4 hour flight. We were so happy to land in Cincinnati!

As we pulled up to our house, we were amazed.... Our friends had decorated our yard with balloons, Welcome Home posters, our house was painted, landscaped, and our pantry and refrigerator were stocked! We have such amazing friends!! What a perfect homecoming!

So, the Home Sweet Home feeling was definitely how Audrey, Sam and I felt. Jay, on the other hand, is having a tough time the past two days. While in China he was happy all the time, temper tantrums and meltdowns have started at home. I just think of how we felt in China and think he must feel that 100 times worse. He has NO ONE that understands him now, all the food is different, all the sounds and smells are different, he doesn't know the routine... He has some really good moments but then completely meltdowns down for hours. His meltdowns are so sad - he cries, screams, yells in Chinese, hits himself, scratches himself, bangs his forehead in the wall,... And, he accepts no comfort from me or the kids. We've just been sitting with him and letting him get it all out until he's worn out. The first day was the hardest, yesterday each meltdown was about 1/2 the time as the day before. Hopefully we're on track, and they'll be even less today. As he learns the language and learns the routine, I know the happy little guy from China will be back. I just wish I could help him. Here are some good moments from the past few days... He loves building things with Sam.

We went on a neighborhood walk with a bunch of friends. He let Audrey carry him for awhile and then we borrowed a stroller for the rest of the walk!

He LOVES Gisele! He's been following her around everywhere. Rocco hasn't come home yet, but I know if he's good with Gisele, he'll love little Rocco. He's a natural dog lover - fits right in!

Wednesday: Free Day

Today was our last full day in China! Just a relaxing day swimming and hanging out at the hotel. The pool is beautiful and luckily clean due to serious signage...

We had a little scare when our guide called this afternoon to tell us that the computer system at the US Consulate was down and visas would not be issued today for families who had appointments yesterday (like us!). Luckily our flight doesn't leave until tomorrow night, so there's a chance the system would be fixed tomorrow and we could still keep our flight. Otherwise, Jay can't come in the country without his visa so we'd have to change our flights and stay here until the Consulate can issue his visa. There was a slight amount of panic from the kids (and me!) who are very ready to come home. At 4:45 this afternoon, we got a call from our guide that the computer system was working and they were going to issue all visas for families with appointments yesterday. Our guide was running back to the Consulate to pick up our visa and will hopefully be back at the hotel in about 30 minutes. I'll feel relieved once we have Jay's visa in my hands and I know we can fly home tomorrow!

Monday & Tuesday: US Consulate

June Bug's blood work came back negative so he's all good for his appointment at the US Consulate to get his visa and head home!

The other really good news is that the backpack I got from another family here works great! Jay agrees to ride in it and I can travel around with him on my back instead of him running wild everywhere. My parents flew in last night - I never could've done this without them here - It's been hard on everyone so it's been really nice for Audrey and Sam to get to go with Grandma and Grandpa and have a little break. We all walked around the super humid city and then spent some time in the pool. He absolutely loves swimming. He stands on the side and counts "Ee, Er, Sun, one, two, three!" and then jumps in! I'll try to upload a video...

There are three other families in Guangzhou right now from our agency, and we took a group picture today with our guide, Elvin (sitting next to Sam). Everyone is so put together and seems to have this thing under control. Then, I show up late, pulling multiple kids, obviously not having showered recently, Ha! I'm just proud that I've gotten this far in China. Really can't do much more than survive at this point!

Yesterday evening, we went on a cruise down the Pearl River. Jay loved the boat. I just wonder what he's thinking - everything we do is a whole new experience. One of his favorite parts of the cruise was arm wrestling with our guide, Elvin!

Then today, Tuesday, we woke up early for our appointment at the US Consulate. This is the appointment where I swear that everything in the process was accurate and take a oath and then we apply for the visa to bring Jay to the US. We get the actual visa tomorrow and that is the last thing we need and we fly home! As soon as Jay lands in the US, he becomes a citizen! Here we are in front of the Consulate making Jay a soon-to-be American citizen!

The Consulate appointment was much easier than I remember in past years, but there is a wine vending machine in the building right next store... Just in case...

We tried an authentic noodle shop for lunch which was delicious! It was family style food and we ordered three huge plates of different noodles, two big baskets of onion breads, lots of drinks (it's 95 degrees and with humidity feels like 118!!). It was so so good! And cost a whopping $8.00.

We got a message from Rebekah from Hope Station. She was visiting Jay's orphanage today and one of his nannies was asking how he was doing and really missing him. Rebekah showed her pictures and videos of him with his family. Rebekah said that she watched the videos and pictures and sobbed. She misses him so much. She video taped a message to Jay and in it she asked that he call her and said he knows her number. I showed him the video and he listened to her intently and then said - Ah! And went to the phone and dialed a number about 5 times. It was the same number each time, but the number said it was disconnected. Seeing a video of a nanny sobbing who had taken care of Jay for years and obviously really loved him was heart wrenching. This whole experience is so wonderful and so horrible at the exact same time. But for now, I'll focus on the wonderful as these two brothers snuggle up before bed...

Sunday: Free Day in Guangzhou

Today was a free day as we wait to get Jay's blood work results and wait for our Consulate appointment. At breakfast, we talked with a family who I'd met briefly at breakfast yesterday. It's a mom traveling with three of her children and a new 4 year old son. Her husband stayed at home with their other children. I immediately was drawn to her a few days ago because she seemed to be having similar struggles as me -- communicating with an older boy who knows what he wants. We chatted at breakfast and she talked about having a backpack to carry her son in, but that he refused to get in it. She offered me to try it out and see if it would help contain Jay when we're out. It was really nice to talk with someone who was travelling as an only adult and who had other kids with her. It made me see that my difficulties in this trip are totally normal!

Jay's been very into mixing together foods. For breakfast, he wanted hot milk and then he soaked about 6 pieces of bacon in it. Then pulled out the bacon and drank the milk (bacon-infused milk). I'm thinking he may be onto something.

After breakfast, we went with the three other families from our agency to do some sightseeing and shopping. I spent this time in the most humid place imaginable, drenched in sweat, and chasing June Bug trying to prevent him from breaking glass tea sets. I really should've tried that backpack before our day out today! Audrey who has not complained yet agreed that she was the most miserable she's ever been in her life. Sam actually did the best out of everyone on this hot day. He kept a good hold on Jay and talked to him as we walked the streets.

We got back to the hotel and everyone was ready to jump in the pool - and it thundered - and the pool closed. So we decided to totally veg out this afternoon. We watched movies in our room and read. June Bug is such a character. We were walking around the hotel and he started acting like a robot and even strangers stopped to videotape him. He's so funny!

Then this afternoon, the hotel delivered a beautiful cake to me for MY BIRTHDAY! The best birthday present I could ever ask for happened as soon as the cake arrived - Haijun started singing to the tune of Happy Birthday but in Chinese and then as soon as he finished, all three kids started singing Happy Birthday in English. It was so sweet. I tried to get them to reenact it. Here's the best I got...

We decided to go down to the Executive Lounge again for "evening snacks" (AKA dinner) again tonight. We met the same family from breakfast at the lounge. We hung out with them all evening just sharing stories about our families and adoptions. Our sons have really similar stories, similar special needs, same age, etc. It was really great to connect with them. Then they brought out birthday treats that they had picked up for me - so sweet! We ran back to our room and grabbed our cake and had a birthday celebration in the lounge. Haijun fell asleep in the lounge, and I got much needed adult interaction. All in all a great birthday.

Saturday: Medical exam

Today was our first full day in Guangzhou with our new guide Elvin. We've also connected with three other families from our agency who had been in other provinces last week. We had an amazing breakfast buffet - full of Chinese noodles, dumplings, meats and then also American favorites like scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, pancakes, fruit, and cheese. The buffet went on for rooms and rooms.

Then we went to the clinic for Haijun to get his check up to get clearance to go to the USA. The clinic was a super hot humid room with different stations - vital signs station, ENT station, general exam station (AKA get naked room, as Sam called it), and the blood drawing station (for a TB test). Haijun did great and had everyone laughing until the blood draw room. That was the one room that parents are not allowed to go in with him. He came walking out looking tough but when he saw me, he started crying and pointing at his bandaid. We get the results of the TB blood test on Monday - fingers crossed it's negative. He doesn't have any symptoms of TB but lots of kids in orphanage have had TB or have been exposed to it which would cause the test to be positive and we'd need to go back to the clinic. The doctor in the general exam room was great. He told me how happy and smart Haijun was. Then he confirmed my scabies concern - he kept saying WOW looking at all the bites everywhere. I told him that I'd already treated him twice and he said to continue treating once a week until there are no marks on him. All the bites are healing but now that I know that's what it was, I've treated all the rest of us just in case - so no one has to be concerned, we are all bathed in scabies medicine and will be completely un-bugged by the time we get home - Yuck! Once I get past my grossed out reaction, I just feel so badly that little June Bug lived with all those bites!

Then we went with our guide to a grocery store to stock up our room. Especially with Haijun being so active, it's hard to go out places. It's really nice to have food to just heat up in our hotel room where he's contained. As we went up and down the aisles, Jay had our guide cracking up. He was grabbing everything throwing it in the basket. He had no interest in breads, chips, snacks but was screaming for pickled chicken feet and sunflower seeds. Elvin said Haijun is a true Chinese boy - and eats like one. Haijun was talking a mile a minute telling me things and Elvin was interpreting and then Haijun turned to Elvin and said - "I'm talking to my mom, not you!" And, Elvin laughed and told him he was helping his mom understand and Haijun said - "Oh she understands me!" Glad he at least thinks I know what he's talking about! Ha! Elvin pulled me aside and said that Haijun is a very "cool" name to have. He said it means Navy and only very "cool" kids are named Haijun. He also said he can tell that Haijun is very confident, very handsome, and is "happy like sunshine." Elvin said he can tell he'll have a wonderful life - I'm not sure if he says this to everyone or just saw me struggling to contain this wild man, but it was sweet. 

We then spend the afternoon swimming. It's Jay's favorite thing and it's the one thing I've found that wears him out! At the grocery store, we got water guns so the swimming pool was even more fun than usual. 

Then Elvin asked to meet the families in a hotel conference room to complete all the paperwork needed at the US Consulate. I knew paperwork wouldn't go well with Jay, so Audrey agreed to babysit the boys in the hotel room when I did the paperwork. Jay did great with her! She's such a great big sister!

Jay has started saying "I love you" and then doing kisses... So sweet...

Traveling

Today we had a leisurely morning at the hotel playing and packing up - It's amazing how much stuff I have! Ugh! But we got all our suitcases packed, kept within the 44 pound limit, and headed off to the airport to fly to Guangzhou. All families who adopt from China end up in Guangzhou the last week of their trip. The US Consulate is in Guangzhou, so this is the city where Jay will get his visa to fly *home* to the US! Chengdu had amazing food and a great feel, but we are definitely ready to fly to Guangzhou where adoptive families won't get the stares and where we are one step closer to coming home! We said goodbye to Carrie, our amazing guide in Chengdu. As Sam told her, we would've been totally lost without her!

The airport was probably the most frustrating part of the trip so far. Haijun was so so excited to fly on an airplane and he was running all over the airport, running into people, getting behind the counter at the terminal pushing computer buttons,... I mean imagine the most out of control child and that was it. But once he was wrangled onto the plane. He was super excited and did great on the flight.

It seems like we have a really good day and then a really hard day. Today was hard. My parents flew to Xian to do some sightseeing and will meet up with us in Guangzhou in a few days. That will help a lot. I feel like today I didn't do especially good by any of my kids - I was asking Audrey to sit by herself on the plane, carry bags, and basically take care of herself because I had one out of control kid and then Sam who suddenly had many needs - basically fighting for my attention. I had a million carry on bags, and kids running crying and peeing everywhere. Yes, peeing. Thank goodness for Pringles containers, that's all I'm saying about that. Hopefully the pattern is right and tomorrow will be a good day!

Last day in Chengdu

About a year ago, a group of nurses from the Second Women's and Children's Hospital in Chengdu came to visit and learn at Cincinnati Childrens Hospital. I spent time with them at the hospital and made some great friendships. We connected on Facebook after they left, they kept inviting me to visit their city, and little did I know my son was there!! When I found out where Jay lived, I immediately contacted them. On Wednesday night the nurses who visited along with their director of nursing hosted me, Audrey, Sam, and my parents to an authentic Chengdu show and meal. They are so hospitable. They rode a taxi over to our hotel to pick us up, we walked Jinli Street which is an old stone street with shops and tea houses and ended up at a beautiful restaurant. We had a beautiful private room and before eating we watched a performance with dancers, aerobatics, and the Chengdu famous mask changing performance. Then we tried many different Chengdu specialities. It was an amazing night to experience the culture and foods of Chengdu.

Every day is getting a little easier. I think we are leaning more Chinese from Jay than him learning English from us. Just so I don't forget them all - Here are the phrases we've learned...sorry for any true Chinese speaker, these may be way off, but it's what it sounds like to me :)

Shia-shia: Thank you
Tszoma: Let's go!
Te meow meow: I want to eat noodles
Neow Neow: Go potty
Hollah: That's enough/All done
Woo-la: I'll do it by myself!

We've been able to mimic to each other and figure out most things. Last night though Haijun (pronounced Hi June... therefore June Bug) had a major meltdown. It was the first real crying fit because I didn't understand him. I called my friend Rebekah from Hope Station and she video chatted him and said she thinks he's asking for a drink of water. I tried giving him a bottle of water and he threw it at me. We went down to the lobby to ask the front desk to help interpret. The woman there said - Oh I know! And, she handed him a bottle of water which he threw at her. She kept talking with him and pretty soon there was a crowd of about 3 women around him trying to figure it out. Then one excitedly realized what he was saying - He wanted to GO IN WATER! Not drink water. He'd probably never swam until a few days ago and had no idea what the word for swimming was!

Today, we met Rebekah and Erin from Hope Station by their apartment so they could play with Jay one last time before we head to Guangzhou tomorrow. They are amazing women from America who moved to Chengdu to provide orphan care in the orphanages. They've been working weekly with Jay for the past couple of years. So, they're very happy for him, but will miss him! I promised to keep in touch so that he always knows them.

Rebekah and Erin are the ones helping with the donation you all contributed to. We haven't been able to purchase anything yet. It's actually more complicated then it seems like it would be. They were explaining to me that in China there is a culture where one person gives something to someone and then the other person gives something back. So, providing the orphanage a large purchase wouldn't happily be accepted because they'd be wary about what we wanted in return. Rebekah and Erin are working to provide this donation in a way that will benefit the children and will be accepted by the orphanage. I'll be sure to let you know when this happens.

We spent the morning at a park by their apartment. As Sam was swinging, Jay started to walk in front of him and almost got hit, so Rebekah grabbed him and Jay said (in Chinese): Geez! You just scared me to death! I think he's hilarious now, I can't wait until I understand what he's saying. We had a wonderful Chengdu meal near the park and then took pictures and he gave lots of hugs and kisses and we headed back to the hotel. We learned a funny Chinese word - the way that we say "Cheese" when someone takes a picture. In China, they say "Eggplant!"

Then we had to finish up paperwork at the Civil Affairs Office and Notary Office. Audrey and Sam stayed with Grandma and Grandpa at the pool and went to get ice cream to give them a little break from all these appointments. It was nice to get some one on one time with Jay. He's really bonded and always wants to be snuggled or held. But in the van ride, he started asking for his Jia Jia (big sister) and Gu Gu (big brother). We stopped at an old Chinese shopping alley and he picked out toys to give to them when we returned. But, he's still a 5 year old boy... He picked out small toys for them and then a big toy and a Starbucks drink for himself!

We pushed ourselves to stay up until 9:30 tonight so that Sam could call into his class at Morning Meeting time. We were able to Skype and they could see each other. They could hear us but we couldn't hear them. So Sam's teacher Mrs Feldkamp got a white board and wrote questions to him from his classmates. He also got to find out who his 2nd grade teacher will be - Mrs Schulte - Audrey's 2nd grade teacher who we loved! And, Mrs Feldkamp and Schulte were both wearing the Jay's Friends fundraiser shirts! Then Audrey's teacher and class came in the room to say HI to her from across the world. The kids showed Jay sleeping to their classmates and loved seeing everyone - We have such an amazing school!

That's all for now - Time to go to sleep and tomorrow we fly to Guangzhou. Please send prayers/positive thoughts/good juju to us to get through this first flight with this fiesty man!

Rainy Pandas

Last night was a tough night... Not for Audrey, Sam, or Jay, but for me! I think it was just exhaustion and emotional stress. Everything in China is so hard. Being somewhere where you can't speak the language, can't read the signs, don't understand the culture  - and being there with 3 kids, one who you can't communicate with, is draining. Jay is doing way better than I ever expected - he showed attachment to his caregivers, he is so sweet with Audrey and Sam, he runs to me if he gets hurt, he's happy, he does not seem to be malnourished and doesn't eat insanely everything like my others did at the beginning. But he is frustrated with me not understanding him and he is covered (and I mean head to toe covered) in bug bites. They don't seem to bother him - I just can't imagine where he lived that he'd be used to that many bites. I've scabies treated him from head to toe twice, and keep applying lotion to help him feel better. Even if he's not complaining, they have got to be itchy! There is one other family staying at the same hotel who are adopting a little girl. They were saying how she has scrapes and cuts all over her and they were told there was a lot of fighting at her orphanage. It's heart breaking to think what these little souls have lived through. But even with whatever living situation Jay had, I can tell he was really loved.  Even though I've done this twice before, I forget how emotional this is. After some much needed facebook messages from a friend back home and texts with a friend who is in China adopting right now (but unfortunately in a different area), and then Jay going straight to bed at 8pm and sleeping until 6am, I feel much better today. Adoption is such an amazing experience, but it is hard. I keep reminding myself that this is the "labor" of my pregnancy and I just have to get through this and things will get easier.

Today, we had a free day in Chengdu as we wait for the official adoption documents from the court. We spent the day at the Panda Research Center. Sam loved telling our guide everything he knew about pandas (he did his end of the year 1st grade project on pandas). It was a rainy day but actually was nice to be there when it was cool and not humid and mosquito-y! Jay was very excited to see pandas but after awhile he said he was - All done! Let's go home!

We just got back to our hotel and got changed out of our wet clothes and are having some down time before our big night tonight. Jay is watching cartoons and Audrey and Sam are writing in their journals. Tonight, some nurses I met when they were visiting Cincinnati Children's Hospital are taking us out to an authentic Chinese meal and to a performance. It will be so great to see them - and to have a bunch of pediatric nurses to help with Jay for an evening! :)

One last important update. Audrey has come up with the best nickname ever. Jay's Chinese name (which will be his middle name) is Haijun.  This is the name he is used to so it's what we've been calling him. Then Audrey started calling him June Bug. Ha! He cracks up and says - June Bug! June Bug!

My wifi has been blocking me from posting images, so I've been sending them to a friend to upload later from the US. So, if you see a post without pictures, just check back and they'll be added later.